Keep it Positive!
By Melissa Mansfield | October 29, 2010 at 2:54 pm
I consider body image an activist issue.
For years, I hated my body. Starting from about 6th grade until college, I internalized all of the messages around me (from magazines, movies, TV, etc.) that told me I had to look like a certain beauty “ideal.”
My girlfriends and I habitually trash-talked our bodies together. I hated my stomach, but my friend hated her thighs. My friend wished she could have arms like me, but I wanted bigger breasts. It went on and on.
There was no way we could reach the ideal body that’s presented to us in the media. It’s unattainable for most women genetically and it’s often created through plastic surgery, air brushing, great lighting or eating disorders. But that didn’t stop us from trying – or at least complaining about how we fell short.
This kind of body-hate talk has become so normalized – and I would say even encouraged by the companies who want to sell us their beauty and diet products – that it’s easy to pass off as something insignificant or somehow “natural” to being female.
I think it’s much more serious than that.
Body hate keeps women down.
When we spend our time, money and energy chasing an unattainable body ideal, and hating our own bodies in the process, that’s time, money and energy not spent on our passions, interests, talents and skills. Sixty-seven percent of women age 15-64 withdraw from life-engaging activities like giving an opinion, going to school and going to the doctor because they feel badly about their looks.
The diet industry alone is a $60 billion operation (even though diets don’t work and being fat doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unhealthy). What if just 10 percent of that money was spent on helping elect women to public office? Or spent on producing movies written, directed and starred in by women – of all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnic backgrounds? Or donated to organizations around the world who are working to advance women’s education and legal rights?
Body hate is emotionally, psychologically and spiritually damaging. I’m a big believer in the mind-body-spirit connection. My body is not a separate entity – it is ME. If I hate my body, I hate myself. I’m at my best when I feel love and kindness towards myself, and when I’m making my body happy through great food, fun exercise and peaceful relaxation. When I practice love and kindness towards myself, I can practice it towards others.
I think this video, produced by the UCLA Reflections Program for TriDelt’s “Fat Talk Free Week,” offers excellent insights into how women and young girls are being affected by body hate and one major way we can fight it:
Aside from changing mainstream media to better reflect the diversity of beauty that exists in all women – which realistically, will take some time – we can start changing things today. Right now.
Commit to stopping the body-hate talk. If you can’t say anything nice about your body (or someone else’s), don’t say anything at all.
You’ll be amazed at how it changes you.
In college, I finally got sick of hating my body and decided to do something about it. I stopped talking about it. I didn’t complain about certain body parts and I didn’t contribute to conversations with my girlfriends commiserating over our awful bodies.
And, you know what? It worked.
It significantly changed the way I saw and felt about my body. I stopped talking like I hated my body and I stopped thinking and feeling like I hated my body.
My real worth is in how I act, how I contribute to the world, and how I treat other people – not in how I look.
For more information, check out these links:
- Health At Every Size
- Reflections Body Image Program
- Fat Talk Free Week on Facebook
- Love Your Body More in Three Simple Steps
What do you think? Do body image issues hold you back? How do you deal with them?
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