The Missional Mom: Q&A With Helen Lee
By Karen Huber | November 2, 2011 at 8:42 am
After the birth of her third son, freelance writer Helen Lee found herself unfulfilled and struggling as a work-from-home mom. But when she began meeting other women who found purpose outside of their roles as mothers, the whole world opened up to her.
In her first book, The Missional Mom, Lee unravels the mystery of unhappy mothering and puts forth an alternative for the woman who feels compelled to impact the world between washing dishes and changing diapers.
Define the missional mom.
Helen Lee: I would say that the missional “anybody” is going to be very much the same. It’s this idea of really embracing that you are called to a particular mission and that is your primary purpose in life. And for moms, it’s lived out through being a mom, but not entirely. We’re not just moms, we’re wives, we’re sisters, we’re aunts, we’re leaders in our churches. We have a lot of aspects to who we are.
You open the book by touching on how some women are unfulfilled or unhappy in their role as mother. Why do you think that is?
Lee: I think there are so many cultural messages for moms today to put motherhood first, to put their children first, to make their family life first. So we feel that pressure and we do it, and that’s probably why we get all tangled up. You sacrifice yourself to that and all you’re doing is making sure you preserve all the naptimes. On one hand it sounds so noble, but on the other hand it was just kind of driving me nuts. I was always feeling the sense of not feeling fulfilled by that. Something was missing. And that was when I started to understand the priority of where things should be.
“You sacrifice yourself to that and all you’re doing is making sure you preserve all the naptimes.”
How does a mother who works out of the home full time, and is also an around-the-clock parent, incorporate missional values into her daily life?
Lee: There are so many ways I think mothers who are working out of the home can do this. One is absolutely in their workplaces themselves, and I know so many women who are really striving to be redemptive entities in whatever place God has called them. There is an intentionality that has to come into play. It could be something as simple as hearing that someone has a problem and meeting in 30 seconds to pray for that person, or to be initiating and continuing relationships with people who may be outside of your comfort zone to be that redemptive entity.
What is your advice to a young mom trapped within the four walls of her home, who longs to offer something tangible to the world, but doesn’t even have time for a shower?
Lee: Those can be really draining times. There are some seasons in life [when] absolutely our children will be just literally and figuratively draining us. And that’s OK. And yet, you don’t have to feel like you’re completely disconnected from a life of being missional, because you can take five minutes and read CNN, and you can go on their creative project page and find out some major issues that are going on with human trafficking or whatever the case may be. Just to stay informed, just to keep those issues in your mind and heart and soul so you can be aware of them, praying for them. That’s not a small thing. I don’t believe prayer is a small thing at all. You can take five minutes to sign a petition online; it doesn’t take five minutes, that’s five seconds and click.
“Every single person on this planet has something of value to offer the world.”
In the book you tell the story of Shayne Moore, the suburban global soccer mom who became an activist and spokesperson for the ONE Campaign. Some moms might look at her story and think, “I could never do that.” What would you say to the mom who is not sure if she has anything of value to offer the world.
Lee: Oh, my goodness! I’d say, of course you have something of value to offer the world! We all have something of value. Every single person on this planet has something of value to offer the world. Your job is to figure out what thing it is that God wants you to offer.
